Many years ago, a perceptive church member came up to me after my preaching and said, “Good message, Pastor, but what are we supposed to do?” Apparently, I had proven my point but I did not give a very strong personal application. Since that time, I always close my sermons with some “practical steps,” a challenge not just to know but to do. The following is one person’s story who took a challenge seriously:
Children are a gift from the Lord. Psalm 127:3
Try telling that to my husband who had to deal with our daughter after church today. She decided to make Smack Ramen in the microwave without any water. It smelled as if she had made burnt popcorn, and then went ahead and put it back in for good measure. I was not feeling well and in bed so the clean up fell to Roger. He was not particularly pleased, but being a good dad, he aired out the house and then turned up the AC since today is 110 degrees. Every so often, the old habits of my daughter come through. Today is such a day.
About two years ago, I was teaching Vacation Bible School. I had invited my nephew and niece who were both eight years old to attend VBS and spend the week with us. I also invited the foster girl from across the street. My husband and I did this because our pastor regularly gives us challenges and the challenge that week was to find a child to whom you can make a difference this week–and do it. We thought we met that challenge by hosting three eight year old’s, but God had a different plan.
After three days of VBS the foster child was sitting at my kitchen table and God told me to adopt her. I debated with God and told Him that my house was full and I kept my mouth shut. The next day, my husband said to me, “You know, we could adopt her”. I immediately began researching how to adopt a child. I had more than one adoption agency turn me down because adopting a specific foster child is impossible. We finally called Christian Family Care, who knows that God works in miracles. I also asked all the Christians in my life to start praying. People began praying that God would essentially open and shut doors as needed to bring our daughter home. Every time that I thought I might let this process go and not complete it something would happen that day to get the ball rolling again. Nine months later my husband and I completed our certification, and our daughter moved into our home.
The first three weeks were sweet and things went smoothly. She was stubborn, but so is every other member of my family. Therefore although we did not always see eye to eye, were were able to work together as a family unit. Then, I decided that it was time to work on her reading. Later I learned that when a human being is not emotionally secure, then that human being will devote all their brain power to emotional security rather than critical thinking. However, at the time I did not know how that part of the brain was made, and I would not back down when she refused to learn. A simple request like “read this book to me” became a knock-down-drag-through-every-room-of-the-house-fight which lasted from 4:30 to 6:30 and ended in the shower. I was scared and at that point I understood how someone disrupts an adoption process. Although I knew she was coming from a therapeutic foster home, I had not expected that level of resistance which came from a four foot, 60 pound girl. That fight was way out of my comfort zone and I was afraid of being a child abuser. I knew that I could not be that person and I knew I could not send her back.
God is a good God and makes a way for all of us. The next day, I ran into a friend who teaches at ACES. (ACES is a school where students who get removed from regular school attend.) I relayed what had transpired the day before, and she showed me how to hold a child in a basket hold so to restrain the child without hurting the child. She also told me that during this process it is essential to not speak. I started to do the basket hold on a regular basis and slowly my daughter and I began to bond. Eventually, we were able to sprinkle in more traditional discipline and the basket hold has mostly gone by the wayside.
When my daughter was in second grade and still a therapeutic foster child, she was sent to the school office one to two times a month. Some of the time, she was removed from school for the duration of the day as a cooling off time. We adopted her for the last month of her second grade and had to pick her up early twice. During her third grade year, we bribed her. I told her that I would give her $50.00 in June if she did not get sent to the office at all for the whole school year. Considering how much time I could possibly loose in work, $50.00 is cheep. Each time she was sent to the office, it cost her $5.00. This past June, I paid her $40.00 for her good behavior. Not to shabby for a therapeutic child. We are her seventh placement. We are the second family who has adopted her. There is certainly room for a lot of anger in this child’s life. God is good and sees even the least of these. God is so good to me.
I look at her and I do not recognize that child that came into my home. Last year during VBS, she accepted Christ as her savior. Because I did not want it to be something that she did to please me, I did not push her in this matter. This year after VBS, she was baptized. I know that she is now ten and acts like a ten year old. Sometimes she forgets important things like adding water to Smack Ramen, but much of that therapeutic child is gone. It is more than that, it is an image of what God does for all of us. In the Bible God tells us that, “He predestined us to adoption as sons through Christ Jesus to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will”. Ephesians 1:5 Because we are now His child, we are changing. We do not change because we are forced to, but because as we know Christ more we become more like him. Although we still have our old selves inside of us, we are not that same person. The truth is, everyone changes. Entropy happens, we get older things are different, we become different. But as sons and daughters of God we should become more and more like him.
I tell my daughter that she must have an important purpose because God told both myself and my husband separately to adopt her. Therefore logically, I must have an important purpose because God adopted me and gave his Son to die in my place and take on my mistakes. By that same logic, we all are called to be sons and daughters of Christ. We all have a purpose and God loves us.
My pastor still gives challenges at the end of his sermons. Today the challenge was to tell someone about Christ this week. It seems like a simple straight forward challenge which mirrors what Christ said during the Great Commission. Telling about Jesus should be far easier than adopting the neighbor’s child—one would hope.
When we are obedient to God and we do what He tells us to do, He often does some incredible-but-challenging things in our lives!